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Anna upsets Stabby. Lachie posts 1436. Diamond posts 1403. Tom holds first. Daicos scores 270 in a 228-point loss. Six players hit 200+ — three were on losing teams.
There is bad luck. There is fixture bad luck. And then there is scoring 1320 — your highest score of the season by more than two hundred points — and losing by four. Maddiekarp drew CharlieGuerno in Round 7. Maddie was projected 1089. Maddie scored 1320. That is a 231-point overperformance, the kind of week that wins matchups eleven times out of twelve. Charlie was projected 1186. Charlie scored 1324. The result: Maddiekarp 1320, CharlieGuerno 1324. A four-point loss. Pickett scored 262 — a captaincy masterpiece. Macdonald 110. Williams 107. Wines 103. Cameron 101. Four players over 100 plus a 262 from Pickett and the answer was: still not enough. Charlie had Neale 159, Holmes 158, Wanganeen-Milera 119 and got the four points it needed from Impey 105 and Cripps 101. The maths was simple. The cruelty was elaborate. Maddiekarp is now 0-7. Seven losses. Zero wins. The streak now includes the most heartbreaking entry yet — a 1320 that did not win. Points-for sits at 8078, more than four other teams in the league. The fixture has been the villain all season. This week the villain wore a mask of personal triumph and revealed itself only at full time. The win has to come. The 1320 will not.
Round 7 of The Shiva Bowl produced six matchups, four scores over 1300, six individual hauls of 200+ points, and the single most heartbreaking loss in the league's short history. We will get to all of it. We have to start with Maddie.
Maddiekarp scored 1320. Let that number land. One thousand three hundred and twenty. Through six rounds Maddie had not cracked 1200 once. Projected 1089 in Round 7, Maddie overperformed by 231 points, posted a season-high by a country mile, and lost. By four. To CharlieGuerno's 1324. Pickett dropped 262 — the captain's call of the year — and was joined by Macdonald 110, Williams 107, Wines 103 and Cameron 101. Five players over 100 and a 262 on top. The bench did its job. The midfield turned up. The forwards turned up. The rucks turned up. And it added to 1320, which is four short of the number Charlie put up. Charlie had Neale 159, Holmes 158, Wanganeen-Milera 119, Impey 105, Cripps 101, and quietly got home. The fixture, which has been the villain of Maddie's season, found a new way to be cruel. The 0-7 record is intact. The points-for sits at 8078, more than four teams above her on the ladder. Some weeks the script writes itself. This week the script came back from the dead specifically to twist the knife.
While Maddie was losing despite scoring 1320, claire was losing despite Daicos scoring 270. The lowercase rolled out a starting lineup that included Daicos 270, Ashcroft 131, Sparrow 119, Daniel 104 — and managed only 1090 because the rest of the team forgot what fantasy football was for an afternoon. Wominjeka rolled the lowercase 1318-1090 with Whitfield 212, Walsh 135, Richards 106, Duursma 103, and the third straight win for Al's butterfly. Wominjeka now sits 4-3, fifth on the ladder, and the cocoon is officially decommissioned. claire drops to 2-5, Daicos's 270 marked 'wasted' in the season ledger.
Up the top, Tom is Team held first place by handling Cotton On Contributions 1383-1252. Cotton, fresh off last week's 1535, came back to earth — though Wilkie's 246 was an enormous individual effort that deserved a better team result. Tom answered with Smith 214, Pendlebury 153, Bailey 127, Sheezel 113, Lloyd 103, Farrell 101 — six players over 100, the prophecy continuing to do prophecy things. Tom is now 6-1, points-for 8132, and the ladder lead remains intact for a second straight week. Cotton drops to 4-3 but with 9169 points-for — easily the most in the league, by a margin of 322 over Diamond — the threat level remains maximum.
The biggest score of the round belonged to KP. Lachie Neale's Divorce Lawyer demolished Catslee Spinning 1436-1165, a 271-point margin built on Houston 206, Bolton 138, Crisp 127, Warner 121, Grundy 116, Windhager 114, D'Ambrosio 106. Seven players over 100 and a 206 to lead the way. Catslee had Butters 176, Burgoyne 112, Petracca 106, Dawson 116 and got smoked anyway. KP rebounds from last week's 1376-in-a-loss with the round's highest score and a clean win. Lachie moves to 5-2 in second.
Right behind KP came The Diamond Zwerves, who continue their absurd late-season form. Zwerve hung 1403 on MitchWhite, with Roberts going for 268 (!), Clohesy 135 off the bench, Dale 109, Newcombe 103, Dunkley 103, Hill 102, Anderson 100. Mitch's 1171 included Gawn 184 and Amon 119 but the gap was always too large. Diamond is now 4-3 with 8996 points-for — second only to Cotton in scoring — and three straight wins. Mitch falls to 2-5 with five straight losses since the 2-0 start, and the season is now firmly in damage-control territory.
And then the upset of the round. Anna's Angels15 took down Stabby Chatfields 1235-1216, a 19-point win that ends Stabby's run at the top of the ladder and inserts Anna's first headline win of the season. Anna got 212 from Ash, 114 from Bontempelli, 112 from Garcia, 107 from Brayshaw, 100 from Laird, 89 from Drew. Stabby had Richards 148, Xerri 145, J. Daicos 121, Georgiades 116, Bruhn 106, but Trembath 26 and Worpel 47 left a hole the rest couldn't fill. Stabby drops to 5-2, no longer co-leading with Tom, now sitting third behind KP on percentage. Anna jumps to 3-4 and ninth, with the satisfaction of having toppled the most consistent team in the league.
Let's pause on a stat. Six players scored 200+ this round: Daicos 270, Roberts 268, Pickett 262, Wilkie 246, B. Smith 214, Ash 212, Whitfield 212. That is seven actually — apologies to Whitfield. Of those seven, four were on winning teams (Roberts, Smith, Ash, Whitfield). Three were on losing teams (Daicos, Pickett, Wilkie). The cruelty of fantasy football rendered in seven data points. You can score 270, you can score 268, you can score 246, and the result is decided by the other thirteen names on the team sheet.
The ladder after Round 7: Tom 6-1, Lachie 5-2, Stabby 5-2. Then four teams at 4-3 — Cotton, Wominjeka, Diamond, Charlie — splitting positions four through seven on percentage. Catslee 3-4, Anna 3-4. claire 2-5, Mitch 2-5. Maddie 0-7. The top three are starting to separate, the middle remains a war zone, and the bottom belongs to the lowercase, the prophet of overperformance, and the most ironically heartbreaking last-place team this league has ever seen.
All coaches were made available for questions. Most of them should not have been.
Q: Maddie. 1320. Highest score of your season by more than two hundred points. And a four-point loss. How are you doing?
“I scored 1320. I had Pickett go for 262. I had five players over 100. I overperformed my projection by 231 points. And I lost by four. By FOUR. There are stages of grief and I think I'm currently inventing new ones. I should be doing a victory lap. I'm doing a regret lap. The fixture has been my enemy for seven weeks and now it's also my therapist.”
Q: Pickett 262 with the captain's armband. That has to be one of the great wasted captaincy calls.
“It's the most beautiful piece of decision-making nobody will ever remember because it didn't come with two points on the ladder. 262. I picked him as captain. He went 262. Macdonald, Williams, Wines, Cameron all over 100. The team did its job. The fixture did its job too — its job, this season, is to ruin me.”
Q: 0-7. Half the season plus one round. The maths is brutal.
“The maths is brutal but the maths also said I'd lose by 80 today and instead I lost by 4. I'm going to take the moral W and the literal L and try not to think about either of them too hard. The win is coming. It HAS to. If 1320 isn't enough, what is? Don't answer that.”
Q: Anna. 1235-1216 over Stabby. The upset of the round. The first big scalp of your season. How does it feel?
“It feels INCREDIBLE. I've been the punching bag for three rounds and this week I knocked off the most consistent team in the league. Ash 212, Bontempelli 114, Garcia 112, Brayshaw 107, Laird 100. The Angels showed up and Stabby's bench let him down. 19-point win. Banked. Framed. Hung on the wall.”
Q: You ended Stabby's co-lead. He was tied with Tom at 5-1. Now he's third on percentage.
“I'm not saying I single-handedly reshaped the top of the ladder, but… I single-handedly reshaped the top of the ladder. Tom is alone at the top now and he can send me a fruit basket. Stabby falls to third. I had a hand in that. The Angels are 3-4 and we are climbing.”
Q: Tom. 6-1. Still first. 1383 over Cotton's 1252. Wilkie went 246 against you and you still won by 131. The prophecy continues.
“The prophecy continues because the prophecy doesn't blink at a 246. Wilkie can score 246, 346, 446 — Tom is Team responds with Smith 214, Pendlebury 153, Bailey 127, Sheezel 113, Lloyd 103, Farrell 101. SIX players over 100. The depth is the prophecy. The prophecy is the depth. We are now both the same thing.”
Q: Stabby lost. Lachie won. You're alone at the top now.
“Alone at the top. From 12th after Round 1 to alone at the top after Round 7. I am quite literally living the dream. The dream is mine. The ladder is mine. The prophecy is — yeah, you get it.”
Q: KP. 1436. Highest score of the round. 271-point demolition of Catslee. Last week you scored 1376 and lost. This week you scored 1436 and won. The vibes have shifted.
“The vibes have completely shifted. Last week 1376 wasn't enough because Cotton scored 1535. This week 1436 was enough because Catslee scored 1165. Houston 206, Bolton 138, Crisp 127, Warner 121, Grundy 116. Seven players over 100. This is what the team looks like when the schedule cooperates. 5-2. Second on the ladder. Tom is in my sights.”
Q: Houston 206 led the way. The squad has serious top-end talent.
“Houston is a problem. So is Grundy. So is Bolton. The squad is built like a Premier League team and now it's playing like one. The 1436 is a statement and the statement is: this team can score with anyone.”
Q: Zwerve. 1403. Three wins in a row. Roberts went 268. The Diamond Zwerves are surging.
“ROBERTS 268! The Diamond Zwerves are SURGING and the swerve is now a permanent feature of the second half of the season. 1321, 1248, 1385, 1403 — four straight 1200+ scores and three straight wins. I'm 4-3 from 0-2. I have 8996 points-for, second only to Cotton. The schedule has finally caught up to the ceiling and the results are unrecognisable.”
Q: You said 'top four' last week. You're sixth on percentage. The maths is checking out.
“The maths is checking out and the swerve is swerving. Top four is reachable. Top three is reachable if I keep scoring 1400. The Diamond is the team nobody wants to draw and the ladder is going to reflect that very soon.”
Q: Al. 1318. Three wins in a row. The butterfly is doing victory laps now.
“Three! Straight! Wins! From 1-3 with five bench DNPs to 4-3 with three on the bounce. Whitfield 212, Walsh 135, Richards 106, Duursma 103. The team is humming. The cocoon was a chrysalis was a butterfly is now a full eagle. Wominjeka Warriros are a top-five team and I have the receipts.”
Q: You beat claire by 228 points. claire had Daicos go 270. You won by 228 anyway.
“claire's Daicos scored 270 and we still won by 228. That's the depth talking. One enormous score doesn't beat a balanced fourteen, and right now my fourteen is balanced and firing. The schedule said 1318. I delivered 1318.”
Q: Charlie. 1324-1320 over Maddie. A four-point win. Maddie scored 1320. You essentially survived a Pickett 262 and stole the points.
“1324-1320 might be the wildest scoreline I will ever see in fantasy football. Pickett scored 262 against me. 262! And we still got home by four. Neale 159, Holmes 158, Wanganeen-Milera 119, Impey 105, Cripps 101 — five players over 100, and that's what beat the 262. I'll take a four-point win all day. The result is the result. The points go on the board.”
Q: Tough one for Maddie. Did you feel anything during it?
“Genuine sympathy. I scored 1324 and got a W. She scored 1320 and got an L. That's not fair, but it's fantasy. CharlieGuerno is now 4-3, mid-table, and I get to feel slightly guilty about how I got there. I'll cope.”
Q: Marc. 1216-1235. Anna got you. First loss in five rounds. You go from co-leading the league to third on percentage. Talk to me.
“Anna brought it. Genuine credit. Ash 212 was the difference. We had Richards 148 and Xerri 145, Daicos 121, Georgiades 116 — that's normally a winning hand. Trembath 26 and Worpel 47 hurt. By 19 points. That's the margin between still co-leading and being third. Brutal but fair.”
Q: You said last week your 5-1 was less dramatic than Tom's 5-1. Now you're 5-2 and Tom is 6-1.
“I respect Tom's record. I respect my record. I will respect both records again next week when I'm back to 6-2 and we're tied. The Chatfields don't lose two in a row. Watch this space.”
Q: Jackson. 1252 isn't a bad score, but Tom scored 1383 and you lost. Last week 1535. This week back to earth. What happened?
“What happened is Wilkie scored 246 and the rest of the squad mostly forgot to show up. Sheezel 113 and Steele 94 were okay. Everything else was middling. 1252 is fine. 1383 from Tom was better. Last week was the ceiling. This week was closer to the floor. The mean will reverse.”
Q: 9169 points-for — still the most in the league by 173 over Diamond. The scoring engine is fine.
“The scoring engine is fine. The schedule is the schedule. 4-3 is not where I want to be but with the points-for I have, I'm not concerned. The roster will keep scoring. The wins will follow.”
Q: Claire. Daicos went 270. You scored 1090 total and lost by 228. How does Daicos drop 270 and the team still finishes on 1090?
“Excellent question. Phenomenal question. Award-winning question. The answer is: every single other person on the team had a quiet day at exactly the wrong moment. Daicos 270, Ashcroft 131, Sparrow 119, Daniel 104 — and then a long, long list of scores in the 40s, 50s, and 60s. The captain delivered. The supporting cast went on holiday.”
Q: 2-5 now. Three losses in a row.
“It's grim. The lowercase is in lowercase mood. Daicos can't carry me alone. Something has to break.”
Q: Spongi. 1165-1436. KP put 271 points on you. The three-game winning streak is over.
“The streak is over. Brutally. KP scored 1436, which is the highest score of the round, and it happened to land on my fixture. Butters 176, Petracca 106, Burgoyne 112, Dawson 116 — the top of my squad was fine. KP just had seven players over 100 and a 206 from Houston on top. There's nothing you can do about that.”
Q: 3-4 now. Eighth on the ladder.
“Three wins in a row, then a 271-point loss. Fantasy in three rounds. We'll regroup.”
Q: Mitch. 1171 against Diamond's 1403. Five straight losses. Gawn went 184 and it didn't matter.
“Gawn 184. Amon 119. Cumming 91. Prestia 99. The top of the squad turned up. Then Roberts scored 268 for Diamond and the day was decided in one cell of the spreadsheet. I keep finding ways to score respectably and lose. 1181, 1268, 1171 — those are my last three scores and they have produced zero wins because I keep drawing teams that explode.”
| # | Team | W | L | D | PF | PA | % |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Tom is Team | 6 | 1 | 0 | 8132 | 7562 | 107.5 |
| 2 | Lachie Neale's Divorce Lawyer | 5 | 2 | 0 | 8847 | 8206 | 107.8 |
| 3 | Stabby Chatfields | 5 | 2 | 0 | 7610 | 7384 | 103.1 |
| 4 | Cotton On Contributions | 4 | 3 | 0 | 9169 | 8269 | 110.9 |
| 5 | Wominjeka Warriros | 4 | 3 | 0 | 8417 | 8065 | 104.4 |
| 6 | The Diamond Zwerves | 4 | 3 | 0 | 8996 | 8629 | 104.3 |
| 7 | CharlieGuerno | 4 | 3 | 0 | 8667 | 8518 | 101.7 |
| 8 | Catslee Spinning | 3 | 4 | 0 | 7664 | 7838 | 97.8 |
| 9 | Anna's Angels15 | 3 | 4 | 0 | 8106 | 8782 | 92.3 |
| 10 | claire | 2 | 5 | 0 | 7109 | 7683 | 92.5 |
| 11 | MitchWhite | 2 | 5 | 0 | 7668 | 8552 | 89.7 |
| 12 | 🚨Maddiekarp | 0 | 7 | 0 | 8078 | 8975 | 90.0 |